Birth trauma is something that can only be defined by the person who gave birth. Trauma can come from unexpected interventions or experiencing life-threatening complications after a highly long labor or super short labor or from something entirely different. Even if everyone in the room thinks that the birth went beautifully and the birthing parent and baby are healthy, there still might be birth trauma. Unfortunately, birth trauma is something that impacts almost 50% of all individuals who give birth or one in three birthing parents, and because of this, it is crucial to talk about it.
Types of Birth Trauma
Physical Trauma
There are multiple types of birthing traumas. The first is physical trauma; maybe you or your baby experienced a birth injury or complication, perhaps you needed to have a surgical birth like a cesarean section, forceps birth, or vacuum birth, or maybe you experienced a life-threatening complication. I have even seen birth trauma occur after having an extensive tear and suture job. This type of trauma is usually something that people can see, which helps them understand and empathize with you a bit more.
Emotional Trauma
The second type of trauma is emotional trauma. Emotional trauma can occur if you have a history of sexual abuse and then are touched without consent or abused by your care provider. It can also happen if your baby is whisked out of the room without you getting any contact or much contact, leaving you by yourself to wonder how they are. This type of trauma can also occur if you do not feel supported. My favorite quote around this is, "Birthing individuals will always remember how they were treated during their birth." Having proper support from a partner, family member, doula, and your care provider is a crucial piece of the puzzle and can help with feelings of safety.
Another significant emotional trauma can be when we over-romanticize birth, and it does not go as expected. Birth plans and visualizing are great, but it is essential to make sure that you are not set on birth going one specific way and instead open to the direction that it takes you in, knowing your preferences and tools that you have worked hard to prepare with.
Mental Trauma
Feeling out of control is another feeling that clients have reported as quite traumatic, especially if these feelings are compounded with a mental health disorder, such as OCD, anxiety, and more. In cases like these, those feelings of being out of control can go from being uncomfortable to completely traumatizing quickly. The unfortunate truth about childbirth is that we cannot control it. Still, I do find that when your care providers prioritize giving you options and consent and discussing your birth preferences with you as much as possible during your birthing experience, some of the traumatizing feelings of lacking control can be lessened.
Who Is Affected by Birth Trauma?
Birth trauma can impact anyone, but you might be at a higher risk if you have experienced birth trauma from a previous pregnancy, have a history of mental health disorders like anxiety, OCD, depression, PTSD, or a personality disorder, have a history of abuse, physical, emotional, cognitive, and sexual abuse can all impact your labor and your experience of childbirth, and having had a previous miscarriage or stillbirth. In my experience, if you have not worked to heal some of these things, then they will very likely pop up and impact your birth in some way or another.
Symptoms of Birth Trauma
The symptoms of birth trauma are similar to symptoms of other traumas. Some of the most significant warning signs that we see are insomnia, nightmares, irritability, emotional numbness or depression, anxiety around your baby, and lack of concentration. It is also common for us to see physical manifestations like chronic pain, trembling, nausea, vomiting, and even panic attacks.
Other things that signal you might have experienced birth trauma are avoidance of triggers, so avoiding anything that has to do with your birth or birth in general, feeling feelings of sadness and anger when hearing birth stories, seeing pregnant bellies, or watching birth videos, and even struggling with bonding with your baby. I have had clients who couldn't get into their bathtubs for years because of the trauma they experienced while using the bath for comfort; I have also had parents who completely lack bonding with their newborns and struggle with that for months. You are not alone; you are not a bad parent; you may simply be experiencing side effects of having been through a traumatic birth experience.
How to Overcome Birth Trauma
If you are experiencing side effects of birth trauma or want to give birth again in the future, I highly recommend doing some healing to help work through the traumatic experience. My second birth was highly traumatic, leaving my partner and I unsure if we would ever have another child. Still, through therapy, education, and conversation, I was able to work through a lot of that trauma and get to a headspace where I felt ready if we wanted to try for another little one. Because of the healing that I did during my pre-conception and pregnancy to heal my trauma, the birth of my third child was one of the most empowering and beautiful experiences of my life. I am grateful that I knew to look at the trauma and work to find ways to heal her.
Seek Therapy
Some of the best ways to work towards healing your birth trauma start with seeing a therapist who specializes in trauma and has experience with helping heal birth trauma. I found that doing EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitizing and Reprocessing therapy helped with my PTSD in significant ways. There are also other hypnosis programs, meditations, and therapies that can help work through a traumatic birth.
Share Your Story
Though challenging, I have found storytelling to be incredibly healing for working through birth trauma. Being in a safe space and telling your birth story to safe people can make a significant difference in how you see your birth and experience it. I have also found a specific power in telling your little one their birth story. We do this practice multiple times yearly, but at least once yearly on our kids' birthdays. It has sometimes been challenging to portray their birth story honestly and lovingly, but doing the work to share it with them can be a gift and can help you with healing from some of that trauma. If you do not have safe people, you might find that group therapy or a support group offers more helpful and safe listening ears. Even if it feels weird initially, remember that groups like this exist for a reason and utilize them.
Take Care of Yourself
Another time that can be difficult when trying to heal from a traumatic birth while caring for another child or other children is the practice of actual self-care. I am not just talking about a nice hot shower that lasts more than a few minutes or drinking your coffee while it is hot rather than three hours later when it has gone completely cold. I mean actual self-care, where you dig deep and work towards finding little ways to love yourself. This can look like going to the spa and getting a massage, getting into nature, taking a nice long bubble bath, rereading books, creating art, and more. Only you know what proper self-care looks like for you, but if you can figure it out, I highly recommend adding self-care to some of the above-mentioned items.
As you work towards healing, remember that it is not linear. Healing is nonbinary, and small and seemingly random things can trigger you back into a traumatized headspace. Deep breaths, you are safe and a good parent. Sometimes, we need extra help, and it is okay to need that. If you are in a space where you feel unsafe or that your baby is hazardous, use the crisis hotline by dialing 988. This hotline is created for experiences just like what you are going through. Remember that just because someone else describes a birth similar to yours as not traumatic does not mean that yours was also not traumatic. If it feels like trauma to you, then it is trauma. Hug yourself like you love yourself and trust your experiences, knowing that trauma can only be defined by the person who experienced it.
