From Disbelief to Confidence - A Dad's Tale

by Chad VanDosen

One. “No way. I think that’s wrong.”

Two. “That second line is pretty faded.”

Three. “Oh. Wow. Actually, that looks positive!”

Four. “Holy crap!!!”

We couldn’t believe our eyes after trying to get pregnant for many months. Our hopes and dreams of becoming parents were finally going to come true.

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I’m going to be a first-time dad, and I realized I had no idea what in the world I was getting myself into. I’ve read books, researched things, and prayed that I would be a great dad, yet still I question my abilities.

It took four pregnancy tests to turn our disbelief into confidence that we would be parents... In the same way, there are four things I’ve realized that have changed my disbelief to confidence in my parenting journey.

My wife, Rebecca, is now 32 weeks pregnant. While I obviously don’t have all the answers, I believe these four truths could change your perspective on being a great mom/dad.

One. You are where you are for a reason.

You are not on this earth by chance, and even more so, you are not going to be a parent (or currently are one) by chance. Everything truly does happen for a reason. The life you have is on purpose and for a purpose. Keep telling yourself that. When you know that you are going to be (or you currently are) a parent for a purpose and not by chance, it changes your perspective. My mindset changes when I tell myself that I am where I am for a reason. It will give you confidence!

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Two. Look in the mirror.

I hope you continue to read after that sentence. That’s scary, isn’t it? To look at yourself truthfully, what do you see? For me, I often notice the bad parts about myself first, not the good things. I’ll never forget one day as I was telling Rebecca all the things I disliked when I looked at myself, and she said, “Stop. Do you want our daughter growing up looking at a self- conscious parent? She needs a confident father!” Whew. That hit me hard. Even though I do think about the areas that I lack, I am reminded that we should all be confident in who we are.

Our kids are watching and will learn from us! Do you want your kid to be self-conscious or confident? I know which one I want them to be.

Three. Have fun.

This is one of the most important truths you need to know. Through the highs and lows of pregnancy and parenthood, have fun and find the joy in things. It changes your perspective! It’s such a great journey; Have fun and choose joy!

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Four. Find a mentor.

Seriously. Don’t blow this point off. Whether you are on your first or fifteenth kid, having a person in your life that can speak truth to you is HUGE. Find someone that really cares about you and your child(ren). This person will encourage you, teach you new things, and be there for you. I truly did save the best point for last. If you get nothing else out of this, know that having someone in your corner to teach, guide, and uplift you is crucial. Find a mentor!


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Written by

Chad VanDosen

Blogger and Dad of One
Full-time husband, father, and youth minister. I love to play sports and games and hang out with loved ones. My wife, Rebecca, and I are busy raising our first little daughter and are learning as we go. I pray that our experiences, stories, and lives, will be encouraging and uplifting to you. God bless!

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